Lessons Learned

Martin took us rockclimbing and rapelling for Family Home Evening. It started out really great with Matt zipping right up the rock.  Then, he reached the top and would not come down.  We helped him and threatened him and gave him every bit of advice and ultimatums that we could come up with.  I was helping from the top and Martin was at the bottom.  After a half and hour, I went and took the belaying rope and Martin went up top and roped in and carried Matt down.  So, crisis over, but we were very frustrated with how Matt would not even listen or try to do what we told him and asked him.  Very FRUSTRATED!  So, then it is Abby's turn.  Two weeks ago she climbed this exact same place and went right up and down.  This time she reached the top really easily and then froze, exactly the same as Matt.  Probably because of what she saw him do.  Did I mention we were already frustrated?  So, she didn't get the half hour of cajoling and instructions.  She got the ultimatum up front.   

Come down right now or you get jobs for three whole days.  I was already belaying, so Martin went up to the top and just pulled her right over.  It was almost dark by this point.  Martin was mad, I was mad, Livvy was sad she didn't get a turn, Matt was crying because he realized that he and Abby would have 3 days of jobs ahead of them, Abby was crying because she got a spanking, and Thayne was crying because Mommy couldn't hold him when she was belaying and it was past his bedtime.  So, Family Home Evening went just as planned--lesson learned!!  We DID end up having Matt and Abby do jobs for 2 days straight, and after two of the worst days of their lives (as Matt said), then we took them back up to redeem themselves and earn back the last day.  They were great, they were very obedient.  They still got scared and froze up, but then they listened and tried to do what Martin told them.  Ah-ha--lesson learned.  I hope that it really sinks in for them. Also, I think I learned my own parenting lesson.  It can be like butting your head against a rock to try and make your kids do something you want them to.  Bribes, threats, and screaming usually just makes it worse.  Also, two days of keeping your kids going on day-long jobs is just a punishment to yourself.  Next time....who knows?